I was walking into the gym the other day and mentally preparing myself for a great workout when I heard someone mutter, “I want the Santa Claus workout.” I chuckled a bit as I began to stretch, but then suddenly it hit me like a one-ton sleigh. I wanted the Santa Claus workout too. Think about it, here’s a guy that eats over 20 million cookies in one night, works basically one night a year, but has the endurance, strength and stamina of about 200 bodybuilders!
Let’s Start with the Numbers
Granted Jolly Old Saint Nick has a well-organized and amazingly efficient team of elves creating, building, packing and loading toys, but once he is air born Santa is on his own. So, working in round numbers, let’s estimate on the low side and assume there are 5 million kids receiving presents, with an average of 4lbs per present, Santa is roughly dead-lifting and dragging around nearly 2,300 tons of toys. This is even giving him the benefit of the doubt by assuming the average weight is down due to electronics and phones. I don’t know about you, but my thighs start to burn after my second set of squats. Lifting all those presents has to take a toll on him right?
Then there is the issue of the speed. Santa needs to travel nearly 212,030,000 miles in one night. Not factoring in the stopping, diving down chimneys, setting up pleasing gift arrangements, swallowing 2-3 cookies and drinking milk, this means Santa has to fly 1,800 miles per second. Between each stop he is at a full sprint down, up, over and between, in a full winter outfit no less and boots. That kind of makes wind-sprints look easy! In addition, I swear I saw him skiing the other day. Who is this guy?
I Gotta Guy that Knows an Elf
After doing the math I decided to call in a favor. I have a friend, whose second cousin’s brother-in-law, knows a guy who delivers dumbbells to Santa’s personal elf trainer, Brutus. Here’s the skinny. It seems that Santa just doesn’t lie around on his 364 days off. In fact he is an avid believer in a balanced exercise routine consisting of stretching, cardio, and weight lifting. Here’s a fun fact, Santa hates leg day too. In warmer months he puts an hour in at the pool, and chases reindeer. During the polar night season, Rudolf runs alongside so he can see his way. While he does go with the gluten-free cookie diet during training, it seems he still can’t stop eating the ginger bread houses.
So what is the Santa Workout?
The Santa workout is just what you would expect it to be. It’s the workout that works for him and his fitness level and shape. You see, Santa’s gift to me is the realization that our body shape doesn’t necessarily indicate our level of fitness or commitment. However, our lifestyle and living active does. So bells and bobtails aside, we need to focus on what we need to be healthier and just start there. We can’t all be the herculean Santa, and I’m not sure I want to work that hard anyway.
So as you enjoy the holidays with your family and friends remember that becoming healthy doesn’t always mean six-pack abs, huge biceps, or having Santa’s amazing strength and speed. It means working hard, becoming your best, and enjoying who you are. So this year, unwrap your "inner you" and leave globe-trotting to the guy in the red suit.